Ok, so a couple of days turned into nearly a couple of weeks. Go figure.
The other night, eye had a dream involving baby ducks. They were black ducks with a shiny green ring of feathers around their necks. Eye saw two on a cooking pan, one close to me, one further away. They had not yet been de-feathered. Eye then saw hands placing a new baby duck on the pan next to the one that was farther away from me. Eye heard a sizzling sound, and then eye saw it curl its head down. Eye looked closer, and it appeared that the baby duck was still alive. So, this asshole was putting live ducks on a searing hot pan, and they were suffering! The baby duck closest to me was dead, and the second duck looked like it was near death. Eye was horrified. Other dreams that night included drug nightmares and police harassment. It's been quite a while since eye've had any nightmares regarding drugs.
There was about a week and a half or so eye was overindulgent regarding heroin, doing about twice what eye should be doing, and at the same time, Angel was borrowing from me since he was low on pills. Eye really wish he'd regulate his medication a lot better than he does. He definitely borrows at a rate much higher than he can afford to pay back, but it's not like eye haven't run up tabs with him before in times that eye don't have money. However, he uses at least twice the amount eye do in a day. So now, eye get to over-correct for what's happened, and then find ways to make money to cover me until the end of the semester, having to come up with more by an earlier date than planned. Eye have options, eye just need to act on them.
Today eye checked on grades. Eye was pleasantly surprised in the way that eye assumed eye was doing terribly, and eye'm not. There have been mistakes made in the way of sleeping through a couple of classes, and not focusing on homework and reading textbooks as much as eye should be, times that eye've treated school as if it were just work - something you go to, then just come home, not working on anything else. However, the times eye've done this have not screwed me over, and eye have already started correcting it and have gone back to treating it more responsibly.
Veins have been doing this strange thing lately, in the way of injection that don't kick in, like there's something blocking them or something. It takes a while, but eventually illness dissipates and pupils constrict, but all the while "feeling" nothing. The silly theory eye came up with is that the high is going to someone else. Years ago, in times when eye was not using drugs, and usually while driving, eye would get this sudden Whoosh of being "fucked up." So in conclusion, eye decided that back then, eye was catching someone else's buzz, and now eye'm returning the favor to some other people. And they probably think that they're getting "high on life."
Our house, not having a central heating and cooling system, had decided to trap a bunch of hot air inside because it was getting warmer for a while. However, it was hotter inside than outside. Luckily, a storm came in this weekend, so eye opened up the house. it took a couple of days of wind for hell to be blown out of the house. As much as cold has its inconveniences, such as having to leave the blankets to go to the kitchen or bathroom, it's much more uncomfortable walking around in an oh-so-sexy tied up shirt, and even then still being hot. For some reason, eye can acclimate to outdoor heat a lot better than eye can with indoor heat.
Luabelle is as cute and obnoxious as ever. She insists on finding a spot to lay on me, no matter how difficult a position eye choose in order to encourage her not to at times. These spots include chest and shoulder, and she really likes using claws. However, she's been enjoying spending time with me under the blanket quite frequently, which is adorable. She rarely used to, while Baby did almost any chance she got to. Eye'm glad that she's always been healthy, so should keep me company for many years to come.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
iZigg
A post of more substance to follow within the next couple of days.
<3
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
- from Repo Men, 2010. Song - Moloko - Sing It Back
Gotta love it... Over break, eye was the recipient of a LOVELY abscess on m'eye thigh. It started out as pain, then to hardness, then to discoloration (pink, purple, yellow, green) over about 1/3 the front of m'eye thigh. Then the discoloration faded away and it just turned into a big, regular abscess. It actually came up quite quickly, up to the point where the layer of skin covering it was very thin. It was obnoxious throughout the whole process, from before eye was sure what it would become, through the stage of it "becoming," as an abscess, cutting it open, packing and cleaning it every day, all the way up to stitching - every day walking, getting up, being in certain positions - all painful. Angel had to cut a three-inch long opening. It ended up being an inch deep (he didn't cut THAT far down, eye think half an inch or so, but the infection itself made it that deep) and half an inch wide. Night after night, squeezing m'eye nails into the side of m'eye thigh as a distraction, harder depending on what he was doing - packing in gauze is the worst, by the way. After the infection was cleared out, which took about a week or so, he stitched me up. These are the first stitches eye've ever had. Eye watched this scene of Repo Men on the last night of cleaning and then stitching, eye wish eye'd thought of it earlier. And it would be lovely to have some kind of material that automatically seals wounds, like they have in this scene.
The same night he started the thigh abscess process, he said he wanted to "just check" the one on m'eye hand, to see how far down it went, he was going to make "just a tiny cut." Trickery! He made the cut, then said, "Oh, it's farther down than eye thought." Cut more, then started squeezing. Squeezing an abscess on a bony area feels completely different than a fatty area. Then he cleaned it up and bandaged it. We haven't done anything else with it, but it appears to need one more cut and squeeze session. There was a tiny one on m'eye arm that had opened on its own and occasionally leaked out in two spots, and he squeezed out that one, too. One of m'eye friends decided to start calling me Spongebob because of all of the holes in me.
This morning while running across the street to catch the bus, eye slipped and fell on the ground. M'eye water and juice bottle spilled out of their side pockets of m'eye backpack and rolled away. There was a car in a different lane, and they stopped for me, even though eye wasn't in front of them. Eye'm lucky that the road was pretty clear of cars, but it was terrifying, imagining some car not seeing me and just running over me. Eye have a scraped knee, elbows, and palms, but the stitches are intact.
Eye'm liking school, eye seem to have remembered more of Spanish from last semester than eye would have expected. Our last in-class assignment that involved formulating and answering questions in Spanish, involving the material we had just learned, plus how to formulate sentences and vocabulary from last semester - we had to do it with a partner, then the professor went around the class asking us each for an example. We both thought that we didn't do well, but we did it just as we were supposed to do. We have an upcoming Anthropology assignment that amuses me - we have to ride a hotel elevator for about half an hour and observe "the customs of riding an elevator in Vegas."
Well, eye have about half an hour before eye have to head toward class, so eye'm going to attempt to catch up on blogs.
*P.S. - Sorry if comments aren't showing up... something's up with this site on this computer.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Awful
Eye recently learned that an ex-boyfriend of a good friend got arrested for breaking into a warehouse, skinning and eating a cat, and then wearing the tail as a necklace! His excuse was "just getting out of jail and being homeless and hungry." Horrifying, absolutely the worst. Eye thought it was bad when an ex-roommate went and shot his sleeping father and burned down the house, back in the fall of 2008. (Neither of these people are into heroin, by the way.) But this cat occurance, to me, is much, much worse than the guy shooting the father who abused him on a couple of occasions. What can eye say? Eye have more of a soft spot for animals than people. And, of course, the ex-girlfriend is busy defending him to anyone who's heated about this event - whether they are just horrified or if they are making fun of him... Eye seem to remember him treating her not too well, and she's been with someone new for over a year, so why she feels the need to stand up for him, eye haven't a clue and don't understand. Oh, the winners with whom eye am acquainted!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Back to the Swing of Things
Yeah it's been a while. Busy with school, then a lazy week of dope, Dilaudid, and sleeping pills, then school computers were closed as eye curled up sick in bed or ran around attempting to make money. Eye DID on and off keep up with most people's blogs, but cannot comment to them by phone, and if eye log into m'eye own blog on the phone, it shuts the stupid thing off.
School started today, appeal went through, obviously. Eye did... decently. Last semester gave me three B's and an A, though eye spent the last weeks of the semester freaking out that eye'd fail everything, which eye usually think. The times eye didn't think that were back when eye was fucking off school & thought eye could fix it all with the finals. Tuesdays and Thursdays, eye get to sleep in, then go take care of an online class, and have an in-person class at 5:30. Mondays and Wednesdays, first class is at 10:00, then eye have an hour and a half in-between, and another class at 1:00. Anthropology, Logic, Philosophy, and the one that makes me nervous is second-semester Spanish.
Angel found his biological father. He found the phone number and address online a year ago, but was too scared to call him. He finally did, right around the end of the semester. It wasn't at all the joyous reunion he'd hoped for. His father's wife listened in, Angel was someone she wanted to pretend doesn't exist because at the time he was born, his wife was pregnant - he was in the military and the two were separated at the time, the father and Angel's mom were "shacking up" at the time on the military base, and at the same time, she was married too, but living away from home. Fun stuff. Anyway, his father kept asking/telling him about child support, asking if he's SURE that's not the reason he's calling, and saying that he had nothing to give. What he wants is a father figure, not some dude's money, and eye doubt someone can get child support back-payments long after they're an adult, anyway.
Winter break wasn't too pleasant. School library - closed. Angel - gone to his mom's out of state. Me - at first had extra Dilaudid, but stupidly decided BINGE, not Save! He owed me $80 and anyway, and was expecting Christmas money from his grandparents, which they send to his mom every year. Eye attempted to cash m'eye own money order which was for rent, would have spent the $80 he owed me, put the rest back in another rent money order with the landlord's name on it (which yes, eye could manage, eye DO have self control, DUH - last semester's drug stash lasted through the semester, and any time eye have jobs, eye can ration to get through til the next pay day.) That didn't work, so eye just sold off some gift cards, (which would've been next after that $80) but that doesn't last forever. So, Christmas was spent huddled in the back bedroom, alone, half dose for the day. Day after Christmas, had a Suboxone, half worked. Lived off of old cottons for a couple of days, which kept me from vomiting everywhere, but still felt rather crappy. Ended up with another gift card to sell. New Year's was a repeat of the time around Christmas. Ended up seeing the landlord while in quite an insane sleep-deprived state. Edges of poster and wall moving, flashes of light and mini-hallucinations, flight of thought and ideas that ranged from actual good ideas to just silly and impossible. Sensory overload - eye could hear the TV volume loud & clear on level 1, ther back neighbor who'd moved out - eye still heard him taking a bath every day, and with the phone on silent, eye could still hear a CLICK every time a text came in. Eye let one of our tweeker "friends" run off to sell a card for me, and never saw him again, but hell - desperation. "You can run a junkie around everywhere and they'll do anything, long as they think dope's coming at the end." During the first encounter with detox in his absence, quite the lovely suicide note was written, but obviously eye didn't bother buying a nice big blade. Angel's mom HATES me, she didn't give him cash to make sure nothing was going to me, she went with him to buy stuff for himself, instead, listened to all of our phone conversations, etc. So - nothing from him. Barely eeking by included two credits, which eye had to pay back double to get, and a bit of.... compromise here and there. Dying veins and impatience led to the lovely experience of hitting an artery, and two horrible abscesses, which we're getting rid of later tonight. The night before he came back, eye had a nightmare that a friend took me to a cabin, eye overslept til noon, so didn't end up getting back in time to pick him up from the bus station at 7am. Awake, sick, and in the tub, eye turned on the dying cell phone to a text message from him saying he knows about this and that, thanks for not picking him up, don't bother coming home. Woke up to a call from him saying he'd be home in about an hour, get up and go to meet him, we're getting loaded. Nightmare over, the dream and the living one from when he was gone.
We have a new neighbor, who may be bipolar, or may be a tweeker or something. Eye heard him moving around back there (his back wall is attached to our back bedroom - the house was a three bedroom house that the landlord converted to a studio and two-bedroom) at all hours for days and days, and then all of the sudden - nothing for an entire day or so, and then started hearing him again yesterday. He moved in about four or five days before Angel got back.
Well, now bills and such for this while semester are pre-bought, eye have money orders already made out to the people they need to go to, eye have MORE than enough set aside for school books, and eye'm set for three months drug-wise, and have other money for things like cat food, cigarettes, etc. Eye have pretty much a guaranteed summer job, where eye've worked before and we parted on good terms. What eye need to figure out in between school and then, is a source of income to set myself up for rainy days, the bad times ALWAYS come eventually, and eye don't want to go through anything like Christmas break unless eye choose to at some point.
Well, it's off to go do a price-check on school books. Nice as SOME of the vacation was (like the very beginning and the final six days), it's nice to be back in the "swing of things."
School started today, appeal went through, obviously. Eye did... decently. Last semester gave me three B's and an A, though eye spent the last weeks of the semester freaking out that eye'd fail everything, which eye usually think. The times eye didn't think that were back when eye was fucking off school & thought eye could fix it all with the finals. Tuesdays and Thursdays, eye get to sleep in, then go take care of an online class, and have an in-person class at 5:30. Mondays and Wednesdays, first class is at 10:00, then eye have an hour and a half in-between, and another class at 1:00. Anthropology, Logic, Philosophy, and the one that makes me nervous is second-semester Spanish.
Angel found his biological father. He found the phone number and address online a year ago, but was too scared to call him. He finally did, right around the end of the semester. It wasn't at all the joyous reunion he'd hoped for. His father's wife listened in, Angel was someone she wanted to pretend doesn't exist because at the time he was born, his wife was pregnant - he was in the military and the two were separated at the time, the father and Angel's mom were "shacking up" at the time on the military base, and at the same time, she was married too, but living away from home. Fun stuff. Anyway, his father kept asking/telling him about child support, asking if he's SURE that's not the reason he's calling, and saying that he had nothing to give. What he wants is a father figure, not some dude's money, and eye doubt someone can get child support back-payments long after they're an adult, anyway.
Winter break wasn't too pleasant. School library - closed. Angel - gone to his mom's out of state. Me - at first had extra Dilaudid, but stupidly decided BINGE, not Save! He owed me $80 and anyway, and was expecting Christmas money from his grandparents, which they send to his mom every year. Eye attempted to cash m'eye own money order which was for rent, would have spent the $80 he owed me, put the rest back in another rent money order with the landlord's name on it (which yes, eye could manage, eye DO have self control, DUH - last semester's drug stash lasted through the semester, and any time eye have jobs, eye can ration to get through til the next pay day.) That didn't work, so eye just sold off some gift cards, (which would've been next after that $80) but that doesn't last forever. So, Christmas was spent huddled in the back bedroom, alone, half dose for the day. Day after Christmas, had a Suboxone, half worked. Lived off of old cottons for a couple of days, which kept me from vomiting everywhere, but still felt rather crappy. Ended up with another gift card to sell. New Year's was a repeat of the time around Christmas. Ended up seeing the landlord while in quite an insane sleep-deprived state. Edges of poster and wall moving, flashes of light and mini-hallucinations, flight of thought and ideas that ranged from actual good ideas to just silly and impossible. Sensory overload - eye could hear the TV volume loud & clear on level 1, ther back neighbor who'd moved out - eye still heard him taking a bath every day, and with the phone on silent, eye could still hear a CLICK every time a text came in. Eye let one of our tweeker "friends" run off to sell a card for me, and never saw him again, but hell - desperation. "You can run a junkie around everywhere and they'll do anything, long as they think dope's coming at the end." During the first encounter with detox in his absence, quite the lovely suicide note was written, but obviously eye didn't bother buying a nice big blade. Angel's mom HATES me, she didn't give him cash to make sure nothing was going to me, she went with him to buy stuff for himself, instead, listened to all of our phone conversations, etc. So - nothing from him. Barely eeking by included two credits, which eye had to pay back double to get, and a bit of.... compromise here and there. Dying veins and impatience led to the lovely experience of hitting an artery, and two horrible abscesses, which we're getting rid of later tonight. The night before he came back, eye had a nightmare that a friend took me to a cabin, eye overslept til noon, so didn't end up getting back in time to pick him up from the bus station at 7am. Awake, sick, and in the tub, eye turned on the dying cell phone to a text message from him saying he knows about this and that, thanks for not picking him up, don't bother coming home. Woke up to a call from him saying he'd be home in about an hour, get up and go to meet him, we're getting loaded. Nightmare over, the dream and the living one from when he was gone.
We have a new neighbor, who may be bipolar, or may be a tweeker or something. Eye heard him moving around back there (his back wall is attached to our back bedroom - the house was a three bedroom house that the landlord converted to a studio and two-bedroom) at all hours for days and days, and then all of the sudden - nothing for an entire day or so, and then started hearing him again yesterday. He moved in about four or five days before Angel got back.
Well, now bills and such for this while semester are pre-bought, eye have money orders already made out to the people they need to go to, eye have MORE than enough set aside for school books, and eye'm set for three months drug-wise, and have other money for things like cat food, cigarettes, etc. Eye have pretty much a guaranteed summer job, where eye've worked before and we parted on good terms. What eye need to figure out in between school and then, is a source of income to set myself up for rainy days, the bad times ALWAYS come eventually, and eye don't want to go through anything like Christmas break unless eye choose to at some point.
Well, it's off to go do a price-check on school books. Nice as SOME of the vacation was (like the very beginning and the final six days), it's nice to be back in the "swing of things."
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Bad News
Sorry for not being able to visit blogs, school has me incredibly busy. There may be some time this weekend, but it's likely not going to be until after finals are over. Today, eye found out something that affects me horribly. Apparently, the policy regarding being able to continue school has changed. M'eye first two semesters here, eye completely let myself fuck up. So, now this school's GPA is .45. At first, eye was told at the beginning of the semester that as long as eye passed all the classes with at least Cs, eye would be able to get financial aid continued next semester. Eye can do that just fine. Now, this has changed. They want me to have a cumulative university GPA of 2.0. Even getting a 4.0 this semsester would not accomplish this. They will NOT count m'eye previous school's GPA of 3.25 into their calculations to determine the GPA calculation. Eye think this is bullshit. If eye did pretty well during a couple years of school, then fuck up a year of it after moving, then do ok in full time school (C or better), eye think that proves that eye'm not out to fuck up anymore and that eye am making an effort to correct bad school habits. So, tomorrow begins the lovely appeal process so that it can be completed before school begins January 17th. Eye already have a note from m'eye previous therapist that eye thought eye would have to use for THIS semester. Eye'm going to check tomorrow to see if passing this semester and doing well the next will bring me up to par at the end of next semester. (Eye'm expecting an unfortunate current semester average of 2.5, really awesome from not knowing eye was in school the first two weeks, then later almost a week of sleeping past early classes, for which the assignments/tests cannot be made up. Eye'm not really complaining about that, it's just a fact. Being ill is an excuse. Turning off the alarm for "5 more minutes of sleep" is not. Next semester eye can get a semester average of between 3.0-4.0 for sure, considering this semester's classes include most of the hardest eye will have to take for a bachelor's degree.) Going through an appeal every semester for a number of semesters does not sound very fun, so hopefully just one will do it. It takes up to a month, and break is coming up, so that period of time might not count, or maybe just around the actual holidays. What's unfortunate is that until the appeal goes through, the classes won't be paid for, which means they will not be "held" for me. Eye may end up having to pick basically just whatever's leftover and isn't full, and HOPE that the classes are all ones that are needed for m'eye degree. So, if eye wasn't freaked out enough as it is, this is doing it for sure.
By the way, if having to go to school for so many damn years for just a bachelor's seems odd to you, eye have always taken the minimum number requirement to count as "full time," which is 12 credits (4 classes.) In order to graduate in exactly four years, one has to either pay for summer school, or take 15-18 credits per semester. In addition, most of the classes eye took at the previous community college out of state did NOT transfer as required classes, just random electives, even though most of them definitely were not.
By the way, if having to go to school for so many damn years for just a bachelor's seems odd to you, eye have always taken the minimum number requirement to count as "full time," which is 12 credits (4 classes.) In order to graduate in exactly four years, one has to either pay for summer school, or take 15-18 credits per semester. In addition, most of the classes eye took at the previous community college out of state did NOT transfer as required classes, just random electives, even though most of them definitely were not.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Smuggling
October 2006, eye lost a job from the resulting depression of losing m'eye cat. In November, eye still hadn't found work, and needed to come up with money for upcoming bills and rent. Eye decided to take an opportunity from our native neighbors. After all, Marty had done it before, successfully. Well, the first time. His second time, he was caught, but released, he received no charges, and our trip to Las Vegas for his birthday was merely postponed.
The opportunity was to pick up "workers." It involves what can be a bit of a drive, but it works. The neighbors basically needed a car and a driver. That meant me. Eye was to drive any one of the neighbors (in our case, it was the main female of the house who took care of everyone) and they told me where to go. Eye ended up at a house very close to the border, where eye was to pick up any number of illegal immigrants, depending on how many are available, how many could fit, and how many were wanted. They are told to get in the car, and one may or may not hide them. (Eye did.) One of the people at the house gives the driver a phone number and a city. Upon arriving in the city, the phone number is called, the person who answers says where to meet them. The meet up involves an exchange, the people go from one car to the other. The person who picks them up pays $600-$1200 per person, which is to be split with the neighbor.
Marty went twice because he got greedy. He partied a lot with his money and wanted more money to play with for his birthday. Eye went a second time because the first time didn't result in enough money for bills, and as the end of the month grew near, eye still had no job. It was right after Thanksgiving. We drove down. This time at the house, there were not people there who were listening to the police scanner to tell us when to leave, like there was the time before. Also, upon leaving, eye saw LOTS of Border Patrol cars. Sure enough, they pulled us over. Eye stuck to the story of thinking they were hitchhiking, but hid them because eye knew where we were, that even picking them up could get us in trouble. However, m'eye neighbor decided to break and even start leading them back to the house, but for some reason we didn't end up there (eye was in the back of the vehicle, she was in the front, so not quite sure what happened, but that's what it seems like.)
At the Border Patrol Station, they tried to trip us up and turn us against each other. She was locked in a room, eye was out in the open answering questions. Apparently, the car had been seen before, and eye fit the profile of someone smuggling, it was a pretty big car (boyfriend's at the time, not own car - which he'd also taken down with one of the neighbor's, but there was no one to pick up at the time,) etc. They informed me that one of the people eye'd been transporting was a convicted felon, so eye could get a felony charge. They also asked if eye had any prior arrests. Yes, a DUI and a driving on a suspended license. They looked it up. The officer said, "DUI Drug Metabolite? How much Metabolite did you take?" Idiot. They also wanted to know about drug history, they seemed particularly convinced that eye was on methamphetamine. Ridiculous. At the time, the only drugs eye used were hallucinogens and dissociatives, and eye hadn't done any of those since two months prior. Eye consented to a drug test. They didn't give me one. They asked a bunch of nosy "personal history" questions. After that, eye was taken from holding facility to holding facility all night, and then to court, where she was sentenced to four months, and eye was sentenced to two, but allowed to be released (to m'eye mother's house!) until the semester was over. It was a "petty charge," they said. And who was sent to pick me up? Mom, incredibly pissed, eye am sure, as she is VERY against illegal immigrants.
Eye had to do weekly drug tests. Once, eye went there pretty damn high on DXM and shaking, but that doesn't come out as anything. Another time, eye'd taken a diet pill the week before and ALMOST got in trouble for amphetamines (which the pills are not), but eye showed her the prescription, and then the test cleared. She said she thought eye needed help if eye was already thin but trying to lose weight, especially if eye was not going to be seeing people for a couple of months.
Eye went to "self-surrender" the day after Christmas, after a night of DXM and alcohol, and even "pre-dosed" with DXM before going in there. So, the intake process was pretty amusing. They asked if eye were on drugs. "Nope!" (after all, it couldn't be proven.) But eye was extremely wobbly, and the other girls watching me close m'eye eyes, and the way m'eye eyes were likely wiggling when they were open, they thought eye was coming down off methamphetamine. Eye was then taken to a "corporate prison" where the people go while they are either still in court proceedings, or waiting to be transferred to their final facility. Eye was given a tuberculosis test and a psychological test, and all these stupid tests. Their picture of me looks ridiculous because of just how intoxicated eye was at the time. They also attempted to transfer me to m'eye final facility the second day eye was there. Eye was taken way out to an airport by bus, and then taken back and re-booked because the TB test hadn't cleared yet.
In this place, there are federal inmates, and people who are in the process of being deported. Eye was at first placed in the housing unit where lots of illegal people were, and made friends with a lot of them. The second area eye went in was solely for federal inmates. M'eye co defendant was in there. She'd converted to Christianity. Eye made friends with her native friends, and an old lady who was in there because she'd allowed some people to use her farmhouse to store smuggled drugs for a couple of days.
Prison itself, it wasn't too bad. It certainly wasn't as bad as *one particularly infamous jail eye have been in. Eye spent time reading books, and making written suggestions about how to improve the prison, which eye'm sure annoyed the hell out of the people who read them, but it entertained me. Eye worked out when eye could. What WAS bad is that eye had no control over what was occurring at the house. A different girl moved in, eye requested m'eye brother cover m'eye part of bills til eye got out (but eye didn't find out he couldn't til eye was there a couple of weeks.) Well, the girl and Marty both lost their jobs and got this "fuck all" attitude, and then the electricity went off. They both thought it would be cool to play gutter-punk, and so became homeless on purpose, rather than going back to their parents. So, eye didn't know if while eye was locked up, the house would be lost, and eye'd be stuck coming out and living at m'eye mother's, which to me was a horrible fate, especially because m'eye car broke down about a week before eye went to prison. She is very intrusive, and we don't live together very well.
A few weeks before eye was to be released, eye was transferred to the actual federal facility. It was a women's Federal Correction Institute, minumum security. That place was nice! They had a better selection of books, a laundry facility where you could drop off your stuff any day, real soap and toiletries, good phone access, REAL fresh vegetables, you had a job 6 days a week, and got to be outside anywhere between 5:30am and 9:30pm. They also offered online school courses to people who had to be in there a while. The older lady eye'd made friends with also ended up going there with me, but was housed in a different area. The things that weren't as pleasant about it were that eye was on a cot in the hallway by the stairs (although it was fun to climb up the railing, then slip through the rails into bed) and that eye couldn't order commissary (an issue from the previous prison that was supposed to be fixed but had still been neglected - since eye had THREE booking numbers at that place, from initial arrest, being booked, then being booked again - m'eye $68 was on the second booking number, still. That place still has m'eye money.) But eye got to work out all of the time, and got to lose a few pounds eye'd gained from having to convert from vegetables to starches at the first facility, plus not being able to be that active.
After being released, eye went back to mom's house, and that night taken to m'eye house, from which eye had NOT been evicted, by Anthony, whom eye wasn't sure was going to be m'eye boyfriend or not after release, and Marty. However, eye discovered a few things. First, squatters had been inhabiting the house. It was trashed, and the washer and dryer had been stolen. Secondly, Marty had LEFT his cat there. (M'eye cats were at mom's ever since having to live with her before m'eye sentence began.) Eye picked about five outfits out, and vowed to return to clean the house and get more belongings later. Eye also picked up Marty's cat and put her in a cage, eye was going to get her somewhere better until eye could get work and get the house back. On the way back to Anthony's house, something happened to him (drugs?seizure?) He suddenly veered across the road and proceeded to crash through about seven fences, some steel bar, some other types. Finally, his car stopped on a chain link fence, about 15 feet from crashing into someone's house. They were illegal, so they didn't call the police. (excellent, because he'd given me a "return" present of LSD, which eye was going to be keeping tucked away for the next month and a half, which eye did.) He told us that what had happened is that suddenly he couldn't see. After getting back to his house, he went to lay down, and Marty told me all about how he'd basically gone to shit after eye'd been away - he lost his job, he let a bunch of raver kids stay at his house to the point it was packed - including underage kids - when he was almost 40 (quite a bit older than eye was, but certainly nothing compared to lots of the people he was surrounding himself with), contracted an STD, got the cops called on him, his house was being watched, his kids were taken away, and though had done or people had been doing stuff like heroin/meth/crack (crack used to be his "problem drug" many years back), what he'd actually gone overboard on with was basically just constant ketamine. And apparently was very whiny/obsessive about me when eye was gone. Basically, he was attracting cops. And eye'd just gotten out of prison. So eye decided to distance myself from him. And that's probably good, because a little down the line, he was busted in an ecstasy sting. And not long after serving his sentence and getting out on parole or probation, he was arrested driving down the wrong wide of the road with an underage girl, high on K with drugs in his car. And so back he went!
Well, back to the house story, and all that. About a week after getting back, eye still hadn't called the landlord because eye didn't have the money together and wasn't sure how eye was going to get it. It would START with a tax refund, but eye didn't know where to go from there. So, he called someone to clean out the house. Every single one of m'eye belongings, other than some pictures, a few odds and ends, and five outfits, were now gone. Eye had to start from scratch. Eye was working again two weeks after getting out, and stayed with a couple of friends who were closer to work than m'eye mom's house. After the tax refund and some loans, eye got the house back. It started as an empty house with three cats, me sleeping on the ground, and slowly became a regular house, but with a revolving cast of mostly irresponsible roommates.
Prison didn't make me any different at all. But eye learned that out of criminal activities, obviously smuggling people is not the path for me, if eye got caught so fast like that.
The opportunity was to pick up "workers." It involves what can be a bit of a drive, but it works. The neighbors basically needed a car and a driver. That meant me. Eye was to drive any one of the neighbors (in our case, it was the main female of the house who took care of everyone) and they told me where to go. Eye ended up at a house very close to the border, where eye was to pick up any number of illegal immigrants, depending on how many are available, how many could fit, and how many were wanted. They are told to get in the car, and one may or may not hide them. (Eye did.) One of the people at the house gives the driver a phone number and a city. Upon arriving in the city, the phone number is called, the person who answers says where to meet them. The meet up involves an exchange, the people go from one car to the other. The person who picks them up pays $600-$1200 per person, which is to be split with the neighbor.
Marty went twice because he got greedy. He partied a lot with his money and wanted more money to play with for his birthday. Eye went a second time because the first time didn't result in enough money for bills, and as the end of the month grew near, eye still had no job. It was right after Thanksgiving. We drove down. This time at the house, there were not people there who were listening to the police scanner to tell us when to leave, like there was the time before. Also, upon leaving, eye saw LOTS of Border Patrol cars. Sure enough, they pulled us over. Eye stuck to the story of thinking they were hitchhiking, but hid them because eye knew where we were, that even picking them up could get us in trouble. However, m'eye neighbor decided to break and even start leading them back to the house, but for some reason we didn't end up there (eye was in the back of the vehicle, she was in the front, so not quite sure what happened, but that's what it seems like.)
At the Border Patrol Station, they tried to trip us up and turn us against each other. She was locked in a room, eye was out in the open answering questions. Apparently, the car had been seen before, and eye fit the profile of someone smuggling, it was a pretty big car (boyfriend's at the time, not own car - which he'd also taken down with one of the neighbor's, but there was no one to pick up at the time,) etc. They informed me that one of the people eye'd been transporting was a convicted felon, so eye could get a felony charge. They also asked if eye had any prior arrests. Yes, a DUI and a driving on a suspended license. They looked it up. The officer said, "DUI Drug Metabolite? How much Metabolite did you take?" Idiot. They also wanted to know about drug history, they seemed particularly convinced that eye was on methamphetamine. Ridiculous. At the time, the only drugs eye used were hallucinogens and dissociatives, and eye hadn't done any of those since two months prior. Eye consented to a drug test. They didn't give me one. They asked a bunch of nosy "personal history" questions. After that, eye was taken from holding facility to holding facility all night, and then to court, where she was sentenced to four months, and eye was sentenced to two, but allowed to be released (to m'eye mother's house!) until the semester was over. It was a "petty charge," they said. And who was sent to pick me up? Mom, incredibly pissed, eye am sure, as she is VERY against illegal immigrants.
Eye had to do weekly drug tests. Once, eye went there pretty damn high on DXM and shaking, but that doesn't come out as anything. Another time, eye'd taken a diet pill the week before and ALMOST got in trouble for amphetamines (which the pills are not), but eye showed her the prescription, and then the test cleared. She said she thought eye needed help if eye was already thin but trying to lose weight, especially if eye was not going to be seeing people for a couple of months.
Eye went to "self-surrender" the day after Christmas, after a night of DXM and alcohol, and even "pre-dosed" with DXM before going in there. So, the intake process was pretty amusing. They asked if eye were on drugs. "Nope!" (after all, it couldn't be proven.) But eye was extremely wobbly, and the other girls watching me close m'eye eyes, and the way m'eye eyes were likely wiggling when they were open, they thought eye was coming down off methamphetamine. Eye was then taken to a "corporate prison" where the people go while they are either still in court proceedings, or waiting to be transferred to their final facility. Eye was given a tuberculosis test and a psychological test, and all these stupid tests. Their picture of me looks ridiculous because of just how intoxicated eye was at the time. They also attempted to transfer me to m'eye final facility the second day eye was there. Eye was taken way out to an airport by bus, and then taken back and re-booked because the TB test hadn't cleared yet.
In this place, there are federal inmates, and people who are in the process of being deported. Eye was at first placed in the housing unit where lots of illegal people were, and made friends with a lot of them. The second area eye went in was solely for federal inmates. M'eye co defendant was in there. She'd converted to Christianity. Eye made friends with her native friends, and an old lady who was in there because she'd allowed some people to use her farmhouse to store smuggled drugs for a couple of days.
Prison itself, it wasn't too bad. It certainly wasn't as bad as *one particularly infamous jail eye have been in. Eye spent time reading books, and making written suggestions about how to improve the prison, which eye'm sure annoyed the hell out of the people who read them, but it entertained me. Eye worked out when eye could. What WAS bad is that eye had no control over what was occurring at the house. A different girl moved in, eye requested m'eye brother cover m'eye part of bills til eye got out (but eye didn't find out he couldn't til eye was there a couple of weeks.) Well, the girl and Marty both lost their jobs and got this "fuck all" attitude, and then the electricity went off. They both thought it would be cool to play gutter-punk, and so became homeless on purpose, rather than going back to their parents. So, eye didn't know if while eye was locked up, the house would be lost, and eye'd be stuck coming out and living at m'eye mother's, which to me was a horrible fate, especially because m'eye car broke down about a week before eye went to prison. She is very intrusive, and we don't live together very well.
A few weeks before eye was to be released, eye was transferred to the actual federal facility. It was a women's Federal Correction Institute, minumum security. That place was nice! They had a better selection of books, a laundry facility where you could drop off your stuff any day, real soap and toiletries, good phone access, REAL fresh vegetables, you had a job 6 days a week, and got to be outside anywhere between 5:30am and 9:30pm. They also offered online school courses to people who had to be in there a while. The older lady eye'd made friends with also ended up going there with me, but was housed in a different area. The things that weren't as pleasant about it were that eye was on a cot in the hallway by the stairs (although it was fun to climb up the railing, then slip through the rails into bed) and that eye couldn't order commissary (an issue from the previous prison that was supposed to be fixed but had still been neglected - since eye had THREE booking numbers at that place, from initial arrest, being booked, then being booked again - m'eye $68 was on the second booking number, still. That place still has m'eye money.) But eye got to work out all of the time, and got to lose a few pounds eye'd gained from having to convert from vegetables to starches at the first facility, plus not being able to be that active.
After being released, eye went back to mom's house, and that night taken to m'eye house, from which eye had NOT been evicted, by Anthony, whom eye wasn't sure was going to be m'eye boyfriend or not after release, and Marty. However, eye discovered a few things. First, squatters had been inhabiting the house. It was trashed, and the washer and dryer had been stolen. Secondly, Marty had LEFT his cat there. (M'eye cats were at mom's ever since having to live with her before m'eye sentence began.) Eye picked about five outfits out, and vowed to return to clean the house and get more belongings later. Eye also picked up Marty's cat and put her in a cage, eye was going to get her somewhere better until eye could get work and get the house back. On the way back to Anthony's house, something happened to him (drugs?seizure?) He suddenly veered across the road and proceeded to crash through about seven fences, some steel bar, some other types. Finally, his car stopped on a chain link fence, about 15 feet from crashing into someone's house. They were illegal, so they didn't call the police. (excellent, because he'd given me a "return" present of LSD, which eye was going to be keeping tucked away for the next month and a half, which eye did.) He told us that what had happened is that suddenly he couldn't see. After getting back to his house, he went to lay down, and Marty told me all about how he'd basically gone to shit after eye'd been away - he lost his job, he let a bunch of raver kids stay at his house to the point it was packed - including underage kids - when he was almost 40 (quite a bit older than eye was, but certainly nothing compared to lots of the people he was surrounding himself with), contracted an STD, got the cops called on him, his house was being watched, his kids were taken away, and though had done or people had been doing stuff like heroin/meth/crack (crack used to be his "problem drug" many years back), what he'd actually gone overboard on with was basically just constant ketamine. And apparently was very whiny/obsessive about me when eye was gone. Basically, he was attracting cops. And eye'd just gotten out of prison. So eye decided to distance myself from him. And that's probably good, because a little down the line, he was busted in an ecstasy sting. And not long after serving his sentence and getting out on parole or probation, he was arrested driving down the wrong wide of the road with an underage girl, high on K with drugs in his car. And so back he went!
Well, back to the house story, and all that. About a week after getting back, eye still hadn't called the landlord because eye didn't have the money together and wasn't sure how eye was going to get it. It would START with a tax refund, but eye didn't know where to go from there. So, he called someone to clean out the house. Every single one of m'eye belongings, other than some pictures, a few odds and ends, and five outfits, were now gone. Eye had to start from scratch. Eye was working again two weeks after getting out, and stayed with a couple of friends who were closer to work than m'eye mom's house. After the tax refund and some loans, eye got the house back. It started as an empty house with three cats, me sleeping on the ground, and slowly became a regular house, but with a revolving cast of mostly irresponsible roommates.
Prison didn't make me any different at all. But eye learned that out of criminal activities, obviously smuggling people is not the path for me, if eye got caught so fast like that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)