Thursday, January 15, 2015

The Hole That We Call Our Home

Wec, Angel had picked up another chick. He was in love. She was faking a relationship to get by, something that she has a history of doing. Eye paid him back, paid all the extra bullshit he came up with too. So he started borrowing from me to support both of their habits. Hers surpassed his. The house of cards tumbled. Borrowing against rent and bills, he could not keep it up forever. We got evicted. She took off. Eye found a place to go. (Which is in the hood instead of my beloved barrios of nine years.) He tried detox and lasted two days.  Then tried methadone. Then ended up in the hospital for weeks- pneumonia and a blood clot between his heart and brain. He found somewhere else to go and still wants that girl back.

Eye've adjusted to somewhere else. Enjoyed living alone. Haven't been sick any more than before, maybe even less. But now have a new guy... Eye've known him about a year and a half and loved ot when he came around. It wasn't planned or anything. He found himself between places and was going to give me some money to stay for about a week. He went to LA yo take care if an old warrant and got stuck all week. Eye thought about him and wished things were different. He returned and admitted feelings for me. So we're gonna see what happens. It's been great. No demands about changing anything on either side. He's funny and sweet and it's wonderful to live with someone nice for a change! Eye adore him and am so happy. He's a tweeker. (But we get along great.) Can take care of his own shit and if not then well, he just sleeps ha. So no drug fights or whatever, freaking out, getting mean, manipulation... He's really sweet to me and Eye'm loving it.

Met a new junkie chick so she's coming by for shit... Already has asked me to spot her. Ugh. Didn't and couldn't anyway. Today found out she's smoking it and has only been on it for a couple months. So there goes any potential pity ha ha.

That's about it. Other than finally switching to smartphone for internet purposes. Got it for free but still took over a weelbto finally do it.

Hope things turn out well. Will try to get stable. If not, gonna save up to move to San Diego.

8 comments:

  1. Sad that you have to constantly cling to a guy to survive. I knew you'd never finish school or get a real job. And didn't you have kids? Assuming you lost custody or just walked away. You'll end up just like melody.

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    1. Cling to? Hardly. Angel "broke up" with me in a really shitty way early 2013. Then lived semi amicably and part spitefully as roommates in separate rooms for the next 2.5 years or so. He never paid my half of rent and the closest to helping me with drugs, even before breaking up was temporary and attached to gains for him, then gains for him and whichever junkie companion. As well as various other games to skim off of my income and scoring.
      Then got different places. The next coming into the picture was far from intentional & certainly not financial. Only man who financially supported me was my father, only for rent and bills, and only between jobs & loans.. which he cut me off from years ago, 2012 or maybe 2013.

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    2. Thanks. It always shows more about them than about me!

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  2. Hey ! What's happening in San Diego x

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    1. Haha such faith in that one lasting! Lol. It did though. Lots of ups and downs & we're getting the fuck out of here next year. Not going to "wing it," like with coming here. That was a really stupid choice.

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  3. Just found your blog through Susie's....did anyone ever find out what happened to her? Thanks!!

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    1. No idea & that shit sucks. Lots of people abandoned this. Me included for a while. Sometimes it's just life. Or people stop and don't want to dwell on drug fueled pasts, sometimes it's bad & sometimes it's a mix. Sometimes some digging turns people up elsewhere, Facebook. Or Melody on Instagram.

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  4. Greetings from over the pond.
    I hope everyone is well and still alive.
    Myself i had to stop because of some (not so nice) health reasons.
    Currently on methadone.

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