Ugh... so today when eye went out, m'eye bottle of crystal light was not completely closed, it leaked over everything - including the phone. So - now it's hanging out in a bag of rice. Since eye can't waste the day reading stuff online with the phone, here eye am.
Eye've been scraping by as of late... sold m'eye books back at a bookstore. Because only one store was open, the one that doesn't pay well, and they'd "changed policies" what should have netted me $80-100 left me with $26. Eye knew eye was being screwed. Eye smiled and took the cash anyway. Eye've heard people say that you can run a junkie around all day long, using the hell out of them, as long as they think does coming at the end, they'll do it. Eye don't find this inaccurate.
The dealer decided he will now only sell in grams and half grams. There are so many things wrong with this. First off - there are two different types of dope. There's the more expensive ones and the regular ones. The more expensive grams and halves - this was the dope he used to make dimes. So now eye'm stuck doing sub par shit. It's also very hard for me to regulate. Individually packaged balloons, eye'll take one, sometimes two. With a half - eye end up with three shots. So this is typically used post scoring, before bed, and then in the morning. Since eye like to lounge after waking up, by the time eye'm ready to make money - eye usually feel like shit and don't want to do anything. Lately, eye've dealt with the other detriment - what if you don't have at least $35? You're screwed. Ended up having to do some skimpy ass rinse last night to go make money, only ended up with twenty bucks. Lovely. Completely useless. So this morning eye was feeling like crap. Luckily, Angel decided he'd give me one Dilaudid (eye typically do three 8mg pills in a shot), which he wouldn't do last night. It was enough for a mediocre rush and to feel "cheery" for about an hour. In other words, no nod, but better than just feeling normal. Eye left and ended up making more than expected. Nothing like a hundred bucks to put a spring in your step!
Then eye had to come home, and Angel didn't want to wake up and call, didn't want me to call because of some weird misplaced sense of control. Years ago, he "forbid" the dealer from dealing with me. But one phone call when he wasn't home, and telling the dealer he wouldn't find out, was the end of that, unless Angel is here. Recently, while he was hospitalized, eye admitted eye could call for myself, and had been for some time. But now that he's home - ha. And his ever so delusional self tells me that the dealer doesn't want to deal with me. Really? Haha. Ok dude. So, after someone else showed up to buy pills, he called, and eye settled down for a long, boring wait. But they were fast. The driver and his buddy arrived, perhaps more scatterbrained than eye was (they've been tweeking lately.) They had no change, but the buddy drove me to the corner store. When eye was inside, eye thought he'd left. Then when eye got in, eye briefly thought he was the other guy. Eye told him about it, and he wanted to know why. Lack of drugs. But why? Eye can't function properly without them, and pretty soon, "It'll be the same for you, except you won't get sick." He told me not to say anything else about it. That, and some upset over commentary from Angel and giggles at their behavior, leads me to believe they're touchy about what they feel is being lectured to or condescension. It isn't - it's just amusing as we all remember our own methtastic adventures, and just being honest. Oh well.
M'eye veins have been HELL lately. Eye know eye mention it often enough, but really - searching for up to two hours more than once a day? Ridiculous. Angel doesn't want to help, but geez, m'eye Parkinson's-unsteady manner managed to fuck up even a vein he made me a little map for. If it took me seconds, up to a couple minutes maybe, most times when shooting myself or other people up, and eye didn't manage to fuck up, eye wouldn't make a big deal about shooting someone up! Seriously!
Well.... eye guess, even though eye don't need to really worry about it just yet, eye should get back on the whole money-making thing, instead of wasting my whole day being a ball of mush. Or at least uh... enjoy the benefits of my semi bounty.