"Fake Life"

Marty & eye used to tell each other what went on during our day in "fake life."  This is basically one's imagination, and sometimes it's made of the ideals of what a person WANTS to happen, it could be the imagined "worse case scenerio," or it could just be letting one's mind run away with itself, and the result of that.

Being in m'eye late 20s & looking back, ugh!  At 18, eye imagined that by now, eye'd be famous & touring with albums and what not.  Eye seriously imagined that eye'd start off by singing in coffee shops within a year of that with a guitar (which ended up having to be sold to make rent that year when a telemarketing job screwed me out of a paycheck.)  Eye'd been writing songs since eye was a little kid.  However, it's very easy to start songs, harder to complete them.  Eye have a notebook of partial lyrics.  Eye know how the instrumental parts sound, inside, but have actually written out very little of the sheet music.

A few years later, eye got ahold of a keyboard and started practicing piano again.  When eye moved in with Marty, we were going to make music together!  Well, he ended up making a lot.  But eye became much more focused on weight than anything else, anorexia/bulemia (probably at that point would have been considered "purging type anorexia") totally encompassed me.  There was room for little else.  Eye still imagined that "soon," eye would be making progress toward the dream.  Lost a job, went to smuggle illegal immigrants, went to prison, everything in the house disappeared or was thrown out during m'eye abscense (either from being stolen by squatters, or thrown out by maintenance later on.  Marty also lost his job and left the house about a week after the power was shut off.)  We only ever had made ONE song together, toward the beginning of us living together.

After prison, eye had to "keep the house together," mostly paying for it alone, due to a cast of unreliable rotating roommates.  Naturally, there wasn't extra money to go toward an instrument, or lessons.

Then, moved here.  Short term jobs, on and off.  Drug addiction.  But, when eye finally take this job that Melody suggested, after the computer gets fixed, eye will have money.  Eye'm getting much too old, don't people start getting noticed in their early twenties, and they have been "out there" exposing themselves since high school for it to happen in the first place.  Time is running out.  But "soon" it's all going to change.  The road has ALWAYS been "about to begin" in the near future.

In fake life, eye am thin again.  In fake life, those songs are complete.  In fake life, eye have a few albums out and am on tour right now.  Eye have seen the world and there is so much more to write about.  In fake life, eye have been able to fix a couple of cosmetic issues that make me uncomfortable.  In fake life, eye own cars and beautiful houses.  In fake life, when the tour's over, eye am going to go to see Marty and bring him some new obscure psychedelic eye have obtained, just like we always imagined it would be.  In fake life, this song's for you...